onlyemma's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hurrah! The tears stayed in today. Okay, so after that last entry I didn�t exactly manage to not cry for the rest of the day. I think it took about an hour and I was going through the whole sob story with Sarah on the phone, going through with a fine-tooth comb every minute aspect of mine and Tim's final hours together as a couple. Sarah ended up saying �Emma, I don�t mean to be rude, but can you just tell me how it ended? It�s just you�re on your mobile and this is expensive��. So I ended up phoning her back so that I could fill her in on events in even more detail, and talked for over an hour about the time I wanted to watch Everwood at Tim�s and he made me watch Angel instead and how he didn�t want me to drink any of his orange juice with bits in because it cost �2.99. All that crap you think about that doesn�t actually matter or define you or your relationship in the slightest, but I felt was worth mentioning at the time. It had only been 4 days since life as I formerly knew it, fell apart, so I suppose it�s allowed. You wouldn�t find Tim going on about stuff like that though, raking up the time I made him watch 13 Going on 30 or any of that bollocks. So anyway, despite my occasional, pretty severe mental breakdowns and going through so many tissues that new trees will have to be planted especially for me; I have actually had two good days. They have been tough and I almost cried yesterday but as soon as I felt a tear coming I tried to suck it up and stood in front of a fan, which did the trick; and I also made some sad little word searches from a sad little website to take my mind off things and because I�ve given up on Sudoku. And today I managed to get through half of the James Blunt album without breaking down, though I got a bit wobbly when I watched Eastenders and found some pyjama bottoms I thought I�d lost. But I�m getting there, I�m coming to terms with things slowly and hopefully I will stop torturing myself very soon. There will come a time when I will be able to get through a day without the help of a puzzle and a mechanical pencil. And Cherryade; God forbid. That stuff is pink hope. Pink hope in a glass. And the new cups are working out a treat. 9:01 p.m. - 2006-07-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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