onlyemma's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a dry day. I'm still miserable. Everything reminds me of Tim. Everything. I'm so tragic right now and it's like I can't get out of this rut. Everything just makes me feel sad. Even supermarkets make me sad because we used to shop together; hot chocolate makes me sad; Haribo tangfastic sweets make me sad; shampoo makes me sad; songs make me sad; tea makes me sad, mugs make me sad; even towels make me sad. Bloody towels! When I wipe my face I'm reminded of Tim's towels, how they felt and how they smelled and how they meant I was with him. Towels! How on earth could towels hold such significance to me? I'm so pathetic, I thought I was stronger than this. And to make it worse, I'm worrying way too much. I worry that Tim's not getting in touch enough or putting kisses on the end of my texts or saying he loves me - and what would be the point in that anyway? If we're not together, why should he tell me he loves me, what good would it do? ARGH! Well at least I wasn't raised by dogs; I have that to be grateful for. I'm watching a programme on feral children to take my mind off things. And I also have a Sudoku book given to me by Kate to occupy my mind, even though she knows that I've never had any kind of interest in Sudoku. Kate and I managed to get halfway through one puzzle yesterday, but I was too indecisive as to where to put the numbers so I had to give up before I lost my mind. I think my veins must be flowing with pink stuff as well and I'm probably on my way to diabetes, as I am still throwing Cherryade down my neck all the time. Most people might drown their sorrows in alcohol, but not me, for me it's Cherryade. I even bought myself a new, bigger cup today so I can drink more in one go. Woe is me. But I haven't cried today, which is a good thing. I just feel constantly homesick in the pit of my stomach instead. But I haven't cried. And I wasn't raised by dogs. So it could be worse. 9:48 p.m. - 2006-07-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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