onlyemma's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 'your promises have never been anything you made them seem' Merry Christmas to all.... blah blah blah. Dominic and I are over. It's funny how things happen, especially as things were going so well up to last week. I'm an idiot for caring so much. I'm an idiot but he's far worse. I'll never let anyone treat me that way again. Last night was the last straw, we went out with people from work and he said he liked me so much he couldn't even describe it - so much that it scared him, but then he turns up to meet me, off his head on coke. He knows I hate that stuff but he wasn't thinking about me, the person who was meant to be his girlfriend, when he did it. I don't think he knows how to think of anyone else. And he acted like I was the one being unreasonable because I was upset. My stomach has never sunk so low in my body as it did when I saw his eyes. The night was horrible; he left me in a club because he lost me when I went to the toilet, then didn't bother finding out where I'd gone. He just went with his friends and didn't phone me or anything. I saw him when I was waiting for a taxi on my own; it was obvious he'd taken more while he was without me. I thought he was disgusting. I told him it was me or the drugs, though I already knew where his heart lay and it wasn't with me. He said he wanted both. He said that I was witnessing the real him: "This is me! This is me!". "I don't like you then." He wanted me to come to his house so we could talk it through. I went home. And the stupid thing is he doesn't even know it's over because he hasn't bothered to check in with me and find out. So fuck him. It's just me and my Take That cd now. Fuck him. 6:11 p.m. - 2006-12-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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