onlyemma's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rants about Jeremy 'I know how you feel' Kyle
I dragged myself out of bed this morning just in time to watch the Jeremy Kyle Show. Why does he always say, "It's [insert name] on the Jeremy Kyle Show everyone!" when people come out? That really annoys me, he says it every time someone comes out. And he always makes people look him in the face too, after he's gone "do you mind if I sit next to you?" and sits too close to his guests. And I don't know about anyone else, but I wouldn't want to look him in the face because he looks smug and thinks everything that comes out of his mouth is so incredibly significant. Plus, he thinks that if he takes his guests out somewhere after the show, it'll change their lives.
"What's your favourite football club Joe?"
"West Ham"
"Okay. The next time they're playing [whatever team he supports] I'll take you to watch them. What do you say, Joe?"
*silence*
"Look at me Joe. No, don't fiddle with your shoe laces, LOOK AT ME. What do you say?"
"okay"
"Great. We'll do that. And I mean it you know, I always keep my promises. Everyone here knows I never let anyone down, I always keep my promises. Anyone will tell you that I keep my promises. Don't I? I keep my promises - Me and you will go and watch that game. Okay? Look at me. Okay?
*uninterested boy nods*
"Give him a round of applause everyone! Joe, everyone! Joe, on the Jeremy Kyle Show!"
We all know he secretly means "Give me a round of applause, for I am so great". For God's sake, why would anyone be that bothered about going to watch football with Jeremy Kyle? This morning he was telling an anorexic girl that he was going to drag her into the X Factor auditions.
"Seriously, if I have to drag you there I will"
Just shut up Jeremy. Shut up for one damn morning.
Anyway, in news unrelated to morning TV, from 12 o clock today I went out and did some filming with my group for my practical project again. We did the drama department today, which was actually quite boring. We ended up filming empty stages and seminar rooms because we had nothing else to film. By mid-afternoon I was so fed up that Patrick decided to do the camera instead, to give me a break, and in one shot you can hear me in the background, all echoy, talking to Rob about yeast infections.
Then Patrick starts talking about finding some penis cream in his friend's bedroom. There are then lots of other general views and close-ups of lamps and stained-glass windows around the department, then about 20 minutes later there's a close-up of my face and I'm saying, "so who's cream was it then, Patrick?".
10:32 p.m. - 2006-03-08
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------