onlyemma's Diaryland Diary


I should be asleep but I've spent 10 minutes just staring.


I’m not in the greatest of moods today to be honest. The house is a bit of a mess and my enthusiasm for cleaning it is at rock bottom (though I have still put clothes away, put a wash on and cleaned the kitchen so I haven’t given up completely), and Keith and I had an argument last night (and a bit this morning) because I suggested we try to be healthier, and it went down very badly. So I’m under a bit of a cloud.

The last week has been wonderful though. Kirsty and Kate came down on Friday and we had such a laugh! We had cheese on toast for lunch and then went to Long Melford to the wool shop, where Kirst got into a very technical conversation about knitting with the owner or the shop, and I talked as best I could about crochet for someone who knows very little. We had a lovely leisurely time though, and even Ruth sat nicely in her pram for the most part, saying “owl” every now and then and stuffing her face with breadsticks. Kirst bought lots, Kate bought nothing, and I bought 2 balls of turquoise wool to make another cardigan for Ruth that I will never finish. We wandered around Long Melford for a bit longer and then went to the farm shop on the way home. We had such a delicious dinner as well (falafel in pitta bread with a load of trimmings - it wasn’t as boring as you might think) and then when Ruth went to bed we knitted and crocheted (Keith went to the pub) and just enjoyed each other’s company.

The next day we went to an over-priced charity shop for a trip out which was lovely, but also angered me as I’d forgotten how pricey it is in there as the manager seems to think he’s a high-end dealer at an antiques emporium. This is obvious not only from his ridiculous prices but also from his beige linen suit jacket, and I saw a teapot that used to be mine priced at £5, when really it should’ve been £1.50 at best. Kirst managed the find a few things she liked and didn’t mind paying over the odds for though, so it wasn’t a wasted trip. Kate and I also got lots of exercise from running around trying to stop Ruth from breaking things - china cups and mugs in particular, as she has learned to “cheers” people, so tends to smash things together in a rough manner a lot, hoping for applause. All in all, it was a great few days, relaxed and fun with a lot of laughter.


It’s now the evening of Easter Sunday as I write this, after I wrote the last few paragraphs during Ruth’s nap on Thursday, I went and cleaned the bathroom before she woke up. I can’t help myself these days, I have to fit in a bit of cleaning or I can’t relax anymore. I’m definitely becoming my mum. I’m going to start saying things like “am I the only one who wants to live in a clean house?” and things like that soon, which to be honest wouldn’t be true anyway as Keith has always wanted to live in a clean house and has always tried his best to. And to be even more honest, every single person I have ever lived with in my adult life has been the one who wants to live in a clean house and it has always been me who has prevented them from doing so.

Sometimes I feel like emailing my old housemates and apologising for being a terrible housemate when we lived together, but then I get scared because I’d be opening the door to at least 7 or 8 people telling me some home truths that I wouldn’t handle very well. I’d also be embarrassed to admit that it’s only been in the last year since having Ruth that I have learned the art of “cleaning as I go”, which is a lot better than how I lived my previous 31 years, living in filth until someone else told me that I needed to do something about it. Once when I lived in Golders Green I had an envelope on my bedroom floor that stayed there for 3 months. Every day I just acknowledged it and thought, “I wonder what it’ll take to get me to pick that up”. What a bloody slob. I can’t remember what forced me to pick it up eventually, I think I started using it to lean my hair straighteners on so they weren’t on the carpet, so it was not only a discarded piece of rubbish, but I made it into a fire hazard as well. God, I was a treat.

I’m sitting in bed as I type this; I’ve been here since about 8.30pm. We had a lovely day with Keith’s family for Easter, we did an Easter Egg hunt in Keith’s parents’ back garden with Keith’s grandma, sister and brother-in-law and their boys, which was great fun. Ruth was excited about everything she found in the garden that wasn’t an Easter egg; she found a twig, an ornamental chicken and a tiny dirty plant pot that she kissed. If we hadn’t gently dragged her around in the direction of the chocolate we’d still be out there now.

So anyway, now I’m in bed, sluggish from the Lindt bunny and multiple Easter Eggs I have just worked my way through (I've just realised what a contradiction I am, having lectured Keith on being healthy!), so should call it a night. Keith’s just got in from having a few drinks, so before I snuggle down I need to give him a few minutes to tell me how good/bad the beer selection was at The Swan. Oh, he’s just come into the bedroom hiccupping loudly and doing jazz hands so I think the selection was good.

10:47 p.m. - 2017-04-16


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