onlyemma's Diaryland Diary
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'Now you're unemployed have you decided your new job is to use up all of the cutlery in the house?'
I am once again jobless!
I�ve realised that this has become a log of unemployment and failed relationships.
When I was employed on a massive TV show for 5 months and had a potential boyfriend, you didn�t hear a thing from me. Now the job centre beckons and I�m once again love-less, I bound back onto here with full momentum to write about it. I don�t know why I display my life like this. I�ll be photographing my bare cupboards next.
Look at that! I took that picture just before I sat down to watch Jeremy Kyle as well. Check out the de-branded baked beans from the Big Brother House. I�m nothing if not resourceful.
So my last week of employment on Big Brother was spent in the offices clearing up. It meant that one afternoon I managed to have a small impromptu conversation with Jimmy Carr, however it took me ages to figure out who he was, as I just assumed I recognised him from work.
At times there wasn�t too much going on there, and therefore Robin and I resorted to playing my favourite game - �Taking pictures of pictures of things and pretending they�re real�. Hence one day, a small amount of time was spent accurately cutting out pictures of chips from the Metro; some of which we posed with and some of which I put on a plate in the office kitchen, for everyone to enjoy.
Since then, life has been bit dreary but I�ve had a few interviews to keep my brain ticking over. It�s been two weeks and last week I took the step of going to the job centre to sign up again. It�s actually pretty depressing if you think about it; I�ve been to two now. I feel like I�m on the first leg of a nationwide tour of Britain�s job centres - first Nottingham, now Borehamwood. Job centres around the country must be waiting for me with bated breath -I felt like bursting through the doors and shouting, �Hello, Hertfordshire!�And possibly doing some sort of flip.
So anyway, I went to the library after that, which was as good as it sounds.
I started reading one of the books I borrowed last night and it annoyed me a bit. It got me thinking about a book I once read where half way through the main character had this new scraggy lover. He was meant to be the gorgeous type with long brown hair that made all the girls go jelly-legged and you were supposed to really believe he was a hunk of a man; but I just couldn�t believe it. Because of the long brown hair. It completely put me off.
I hate it when authors do that; when they describe someone too much and put you off. I went on to imagine he had it all tied up in a ratty elastic band and it probably smelled funny after he did some cooking or used the grill. It just didn�t work for me. But I couldn�t just abandon the main character, I�d gone through a lot with her as I was a good hundred pages in, so what I had to do was, I pretended the author had described the man as having dark brown hair, but it was cut into a wavy layered style with a little sweepy fringe, to the tune of a Paolo Nutini lookalike. To be honest, it was annoying to over-ride the author�s portrayal of the love interest with my own specifications, but it was worth it. At least that way I was happy for the main character to be with him.
I got thinking about this because I was half enjoying the book I started into last night until I came to this part, where it described the main character�s first encounters of her new lover;
�Those preliminary days, across from him in court, she had noted his starched shirt, the string tie, the impossible fit of his jeans, the beaten heels of his cowboy boots. Yes, she�d secretly acknowledged he was � �
Hold up. Cowboy boots? Why did she have to go and spoil it? He was marginally attractive up until that point. I shut the book then and there, as there was no way that I could go along with that.
If only writers left the clothes part out when describing someone. It�d be so much better � that way you can fall in love with them a little bit yourself, and not be put off by bad fashion. Dark hair and sincere blue eyes, yes; a strong build and a cheeky smile, I�ll go along with that; but lifting up a polo and unbuttoning faded blue straight-legs? You�ve lost me.
Anyway, that aside, I�ve accomplished joining the library and starting a new book, so I can tick those things off my To-Do list and feel quite pleased with myself. You see, due to no longer being part of the elite employed person�s club, I have had to start setting myself goals to fill my days and keep me motivated, or else there�s a good chance I�ll spend them lying on the landing.
Yesterday�s goal was to send out 15 CVs and phone a production company up, which I achieved. However, today�s goal was a little less work-orientated as it was to keep a capful of Listerine in my mouth for the duration of my morning shower. Already I fear my enthusiasm for job hunting may be dwindling.
Chip, anyone?
6:46 p.m. - 2008-10-10
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