onlyemma's Diaryland Diary

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Throwing up stories are the best way to make friends.

I apologise for the lack of entries, the Internet was down and then when it wasn�t, I was being lazy.

My work experience went surprisingly well, though at first I was such a nervous idiot, I hardly knew how to act like a human being, Mainly I just perched on the end of sofas and tried to look deep.

For the first few days I would walk through the studio doors and almost become a mute, but then when I�d eventually say something it would be like someone had flicked a switch and I couldn�t stop talking. Such rubbish would come out of my mouth. On my first day when I was trying to make a good impression, I was quiet for ages, and then when I finally joined in a conversation I told the story of the time I threw up and got half a mini cheddar stuck at the back of my nose.

Really, what can you say to that?

And if that wasn�t enough, since then I�ve told what�s become a compilation of food stories - the story of the time I ate so many sherbet spaceships I threw up outside the newsagents, the first time I ate a Dip Dab; and the day I realised that carrot cake actually contained real carrot; to name but a few.

Luckily however, yesterday I relaxed a little bit for once and I think I�m getting used to everyone. For the first time ever I sat in the communal area without looking like I had a rod up my backside and after three weeks I also now trust myself to eat a crusty baguette when I�m there; so things are picking up. I�m still starchy as hell though.

work experience seems to be draining my funds as well as my sweat glands though, so there�s a good chance I�m going to need a part time job to keep myself afloat. Much to my disappointment of course; imagine all of the episodes of Births Stories and Extreme Makeover I�ll miss!

This conclusion came about last weekend after complaining to my mum that I have no money to use to embrace any kind of social life. And instead of sympathising, my mum�s natural reaction was to get her little calculator out, so she totted up all of my assets, and decided I better visit the Ikea recruitment day on Saturday.

So Kate and I reluctantly went along to the sports centre and filled out application forms for any position going. We filled out about three each because we were being so thick and didn�t read them properly, and then we had impromptu interviews which threw us off completely.

Luckily the woman who interviewed me was nice so I talked to her easily. She showed me some pictures in a book and asked me which out of two themes I�d choose � for example, �for a few� or �for the many� and �flamboyant� or �smart and thrifty�, it was pretty easy to see which they wanted you to choose. And as far as interviews go, it was actually quite good due to its spontaneity meaning I wasn�t particularly anxious.

So Ikea will apparently be in touch within the next few weeks, and who knows; maybe I�ll get myself some money rolling in again soon. Fingers crossed, and all that. I�m not pinning my hopes on it at this point though, as my professionalism did waver slightly towards the end of my interview when the woman asked me if there was anything I�d like to say to her and I said, �I like your highlights�.

Anyway, later that day night Shelley invited me and Kate to go out with her and her boyfriend Lee and friend Becky, into Nottingham, so despite being low in funds we went. We had a really good time; went to a few select bars and then when things got a bit quiet, Kate challenged us to a game of �See How Many Strangers You Can Have Your Photo Taken With� , which was surprisingly so successful that it managed to take over our entire night.

However, after bombing it around various pubs and bars with our cameras we eventually decided that it was getting a little bit too easy, especially when we started getting introduced to people�s friends; so we changed the rules slightly. The revised rules stated that we had to take photos of strangers spelling out our names with their bodies.

And as fun as that was, we ended up going back to our original format for the rest of the night due to some people�s names being too long, therefore the game was a bit unfair. Lee didn�t think so, though Shelley did.

After a stop off so that I could take a photo of myself and a woman through a restaurant window (10 points for ingenuity), we eventually made it to Rock City, and as I had the unfair advantage of owning the one camera in the group, before anyone could stop me I raced around and found myself a winning amount of willing photogenic participants. And, as it turns out, shoving a camera in someone�s face and shouting �Smile!� is a pretty good pulling technique.

On my travels around Rock City, I spotted a boy who took my fancy, and being too scared to go over to him by myself, persuaded Lee to come with me to get a photo with him. So Lee asked him for a photo of the three of us, he looked bemused but said yes, Lee took the photo (I look shocking in it), and then he left me there to dither about. Fortunately for me, our game gave me something to talk about for a while so I showed the boy my photos and then, sensing I had nothing left to give and had exhausted all of my conversational avenues, I began excusing myself by saying that I better get back to my winning. And that�s when he kissed me.

To be honest I�m not the kind of girl who kisses handsome strangers, but I think I might become one. We kissed for about three hours! And Kate thought I was a hussy, obviously. When we took a small break, I found out his name was Ralph and he was too young, but not too young. Well, he was young enough to make me consider legging it, but then I quickly reconsidered this when he went to kiss me again. I also thought of Paolo Nutini�s song Jenny Don�t Be Hasty, and decided I didn�t want to go the way of Jenny; as after all, she lost herself an international superstar due to her age prejudices. So in conclusion: Ralph could be my Paolo.

So I was glad I didn�t baulk and Ralph turned out to be good fun, as he joined in with the photo game and for a while we walked around together, taking photos of the two of us with strangers. He even had a go at bagging one on his own.

All in all it was a good night.

Since then I haven�t been up to much except work experience and lazing around. It�s been a bit dull and last night I was so bored that I started voluntarily tidying my room. What am I, twelve? When I was younger, I used to wrap dusters around my head when I cleaned so I looked like something out of a Disney film.

And in news which affects no-one but me, I found out today that Tim�s now living with his new skank. I don�t know what I think of it to be honest. I thought maybe I should feel sad about it so I tried it but I couldn�t even muster up one single tear. So for the first time in my life, I think I must be indifferent. It makes a nice change actually.

10:48 a.m. - 2007-05-20

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