onlyemma's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 'You know what we need? One of those machines that tones your muscles while you watch TV. That's what.' Mum and Dad will be back from their jollies tonight, so Kate and I have to do a massive clean-up of the house. Since they�ve been gone, we�ve not emptied the rubbish bin once, we�ve cleared the cupboards of all clean mugs and plates and bought a trampoline, which is now occupying a lot of space in the living room. We�ve been incredibly bored actually. We didn't even have one party. Our days have revolved around watching Buff Brides at 10am every morning and then Baby Zone on Living TV. When it�s not been anything to do with weddings or babies, we�ve looked to Dick Van Dyke to cheer up our mundane existence, hoping he�ll get his roller blades out again (he did) or the episodes murderer will turn out to be whomever Barry Van Dyke sleeps with (he has absolutely appalling taste in women, but when will he learn?) When I got back from Jessica�s house on Saturday, the first thing Kate said to me was, �Barry was snogging a woman in a Jacuzzi today, it was disgusting!� She couldn�t get over it for ages and I didn�t blame her. We reached a revelation yesterday though, as we were lying about in the living room wondering what baby programme to watch next. Kate said to me, �I feel like all we do is snack all day, watch TV and eat meals that contain eggs�. I thought about this for a minute and realised that she was right; we devoured all of our Easter eggs like they�re going to sprout legs and run away, we sit and watch other people�s lives on the TV instead of living out our own and yes, all our meals do revolve around scrambled or boiled eggs, with or without toast. What a life. This depressed us for a little bit, though we perked up when I reminded Kate that we have been bouncing about on the trampoline during the adverts, which is something. It seemed to put her mind at ease. So I think we�re on the verge of being pathetic, but we�re not quite there yet as we�ve not started setting the TV reminder for The Jeremy Kyle Show or anything. I thought the new trampoline would be the answer to my body-related prayers though, but as with everything, my enthusiasm for it waned within hours of setting it up. It appears that the effort to move ten centimetres from my chair to the trampoline is now too much; let alone bounce on it. Sometimes I just stand on the trampoline and watch TV from there, from an interesting new angle; I find I only seem to really go on it merely to keep it occupied, as if I�m on it (bouncing or not), it means Kate can�t have a go. The thing is, I�m not trying to be cruel or anything, but I�d asked her if she wanted to go halves on the price and she plainly said no, so I told her not to expect to use it then. �Fair enough!� But she goes on it anyway. I can hear her, when I�m upstairs or in the kitchen and the adverts come on during Laguna Beach. I can hear the springs creak and twang and I have to rush in and push her off, which is a huge inconvenience to my day. Especially as it�s about five times a day. And I�ve found that as tiresome as it is, that is the tack which seems to work the best, as my other plan � shouting, �THAT WAS FIVE MINUTES! NOW GIVE ME TWO POUNDS� doesn�t get me anywhere, as Kate never pays up. But despite the poor diet, plenty of boredom and too much TV (my eyes have started watering as soon as I sit down), I�ve actually had a good time with Kate. She makes me laugh until my sides ache, every single day. That�s pretty rare. Even if it�s just by saying, �I trumped with every bounce just then!� I couldn�t live without her. 8:48 p.m. - 2007-04-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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