onlyemma's Diaryland Diary

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Cut me and I bleed chocolate.

It was my last full day at Thorntons today, as tomorrow is a half day.

Due to this being my last week at work, I decided to gorge myself on as much free chocolate as I could physically consume. I must�ve eaten three whole extra thick Easter eggs and ten truffles and it�s only Thursday. To be honest, I don�t really know why I�m eating so much but I am; and I keep telling myself that I shouldn�t eat what I work with, to try and stop myself from raiding the scrap bins. If I worked in an office I wouldn�t eat the pencils now would I?

But anyway, that tack isn�t really working; though my sister, as always, is doing her bit in stopping me from eating myself into a fat and lethargic stupor, as every time she sees me pick up some chocolate, when she�s within reach she�ll slap it out of my hands as quickly as possible. An action that is usually accompanied by the phrase, �don�t do it, fatty!� Which helps, massively.

I�m not all food and no exercise though, as I�ve recently taken to going on walks. Brisk walks to be precise. In the evenings. I�ve done it twice so far and it�s been lovely, but unfortunately it�s something that has been met with both caution and suspicion in my household. My family seem to be unable to grasp the fact that I don�t actually mind going on walks and I�ve wilfully chosen to go walking, even though my mum�s suggestion of a family walk by the canal every Sunday afternoon has always been met with sheer horror from my direction.

The thing is, I�m all for walking, and I�ve never been totally against the suggestion of a walk; I just don�t want to have to be in a group and wearing a cagoule to do it. So this way, I can walk on my own, listen to some music and pretend I�m in a music video. Brilliant.

So I started my walks on Tuesday, after scoffing four vanilla truffles that day and feeling pretty bad. I came in from work and declared to my family that I was going for a jaunt before tea. My parents and sister all smirked and said �okay!�, obviously thinking I wouldn�t be able to drag myself away from Hollyoaks, and it was only when they saw me putting my (old, crap P.E.) trainers on that they realised I was serious (I wouldn�t let myself look quite that sad otherwise). So this worried Kate. She called me into her room for a discussion on the matter, as she needed to know exactly why I was going on a walk, where I was going, did I think I was fat and am I going to �start being silly�? And she then offered up her services as �company�, which was sweet but I had to turn her down. I knew that her being �company� was really code for �guardian�, so she could make sure I didn�t throw up my vanilla truffles in a bush up Church Hill. Or something.

So, I said �no thanks, I�m just going to listen to some music� which seemed fair enough, but at that point my dad then decided to chime in via lots of shouting from his desk; and he bellowed, �WHO IS HE, EMMA? WHO ARE YOU MEETING?�

He thought I was going out so that I could sneak about with a man! Pah. Chance would be a fine thing.

I laughed, but underneath my cheery exterior, I was a bit baffled. I couldn�t believe that my introducing a spot of light exercise into my daily routine could be met with such disbelief! And frankly I was also a little bit concerned as to what kind of daughter my dad thought he had brought up. So I told him this, but alas, he didn�t listen. He told Kate to follow me anyway, to find out who �he� is.

I roped Kate and Shelley into my walk-fest last night actually, though it was mainly to show Kate that it was all above �board and legit. However, they couldn�t keep up with my pace as seemed to have misheard �brisk walk� for �leisurely stroll� when I had asked them to come along, and continually complained behind me. I think they were secretly hoping that it was all a ruse to amuse my parents and the night before I�d just stopped at the bench outside the Co-op for 15 minutes and slowly ambled back home after loading myself up on Pick N Mix. But no, this was real exercise, which I was taking seriously. Hence the crappy trainers.

I didn�t go walking tonight though, as I had a headache. Woe is me. It was a terrible headache though, so I assure you that it is a valid excuse. It warranted a bath and a long nap.

And speaking of naps; whilst I was napping through my alarm this morning, I had quite a weird dream. I dreamt that I had a baby, and in my dream the father was visiting us in hospital. I didn�t like him at all because he really got on my nerves and I just wanted him to go away. I have no idea who this person was though, so I must�ve made him up in my head, but he was really, really annoying.

So I didn�t like the father of my baby, but then again, I didn�t much like my baby either for some reason. She was sufficiently cute but I wasn�t much bothered to begin with. And so I�m sitting in bed for the duration of my dream, continually annoyed, and then my Dad pops up from nowhere and says, �So, what are you going to name your daughter?�.

I look hard at my little squirming baby girl and I pick her up, all wrapped up in her pink baby-gro. I cuddle her a little bit and start to think that maybe she�s all right. And then I look at my dad and say to him,

�I think I�m going to call her Cabbage�.

Priceless. Totally worth being late for.

10:03 p.m. - 2007-03-15

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