onlyemma's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sherry Christmas everyone! Christmas has been quiet this year. To be honest, it seemed just like a normal day except we had crackers and didn't eat off trays on our knees. Was it really Christmas Day yesterday? Blimey, it feels like years ago. I decided to take my woes out on the Harvey's Bristol Cream, which I didn't even know I liked until yesterday when I got handed a glass. I love those tiny sherry glasses; they make me feel like a giant and I don't feel like one of those very often. Fat, yes; giant, not so much. Anyway, I had 3 glasses of that and felt quite care-free so decided to crack open a bottle of Cherryade to mix with some other alcoholic crap. As Cherryade is the drink to mend all heartbreak I thought that mixing it with some alcohol would do me wonders, though it turns out it didn't. To my amazement, Cherryade and rum is disgusting. I tried arguing my case with my mum after she tried a sip. It might as well have been cat wee for the face she pulled and she made me throw my concoction away. I wasn't allowed to mix Cherryade with anything else after that because it was considered a waste of good alcohol. Half way through the day I decided that instead of getting steadily more drunk, I'd rev myself up on E numbers instead - it just seemed that bit classier. So I took my bottle of Cherryade into the living room and put in on the dining table with all of the bottles of wine, for easy access. Just as I was settled with a wine glass brimming full, my mum came in and whipped my precious bottle away. She said, "I don't think so Emma!" and hid it under the table! Apparently it looked common. So I had to settle with refilling my glass by pouring it out below the table, like it was something to be ashamed of. Like it was White Lightening or something. Dinner was lovely though, but the jokes in the crackers were worse than usual; I think it's because my mum's gone to Uni and money's tight, so we couldn't afford crackers with above-average jokes in them this year. I didn't even read mine out, it was that appalling. I did tell a joke from memory though, about a baker having smelly hands because he needed a poo. It went down fantastically - jokes with 'smelly' and 'poo' in them will always be sure-fire winners. The crackers were still rubbish though. The paper started stretching as I was pulling mine and as I got quite competitive with my 10 year old cousin I used all my strength to pull the cracker, but my hand slipped off the end and I hit myself in the face. And to top off my dismay, I was hoping to get some nail clippers but ended up with two bits of twisted metal that were meant to be fun to pull apart. What's that all about? My cousin wouldn't even swap with me; she got a tiny jigsaw. Anything was better than my prize, plus the jigsaw made me feel giant again - twice in one day's not bad. No-one got any clippers. After dinner and a little bit of everything for pudding, we opened a few presents and watched TV. If you care to know, I got a digital camera for my main Christmas present. I couldn't really think of anything; despite the lack of romance in my life now, I have everything I need. Though actually, I wouldn't mind a cat; if I'm going to be a lonely old maid I might as well start getting the accessories for it. Maybe a cat a year...? And I might get fat. Really fat. 8:53 p.m. - 2006-12-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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