onlyemma's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'It's Emma on The Jeremy Kyle Show everyone!'


Ok, so I think I'm a bit of a hypocrite.

Remember when I had a rant about Jeremy 'I know how you feel' Kyle ? Well, today I did what I never thought I would do; I was in the audience of The Jeremy Kyle Show.

In my defense, it wasn't my idea, but I went along for the ride. Me, Vicki, Nadine and 2 other girls went to Manchester to see Mr Smug himself. He's a lot shorter in real life, more tanned, his head is bigger and he's even more full of himself than he appears to be on the show.

It wasn't as trashy as I thought it would be though (even though the 50-something woman in front of me had a love bite on the back of her neck). And I have to say, Mr Smug didn't disappoint in the entertainment factor.

He said "look at me, no, LOOK AT ME" about 50 times, raised his voice a lot, said "it's [name] on the Jeremy Kyle Show everyone!" every time someone came out (or went off the stage) and called people 'darlin' and 'babe' no matter how ugly they were. So I got almost the full package; however, I was dismayed that he didn't shout at people for interrupting him and use the "it's my turn to talk. Whose show is this? Whose name is it on the wall? Not yours. It's MINE" speech.

Our group was sitting in the middle of the audience and I was on the end of the row so got the camera shoved in my face a good few times, to show my reaction to things the guests said, or my amazement at the genious and wisdom that flowed from Jeremy's mouth.

Nadine surprised herself and found herself looking genuinely concerned for the guests a few times during the show and noticed a camera trained on her as well. She showed me her concerned expression after the show and it's definitely worth the air time.

Quite often the camera caught me just at the end of a yawn though, so I looked somewhat bemused and teary-eyed. Therefore if you see me (brown top, orange cardie, on the right) please remember that if you see me looking upset, I had most probably just finished yawning and wasn't actually becoming emotionally involved.

Vicki and I couldn't stop laughing though, especially when Jeremy kept saying the "look at me" thing. The guests were pretty funny at times too, but unfortunately in a tragic, scrunchie-in-your-fringe kind of way.

One woman was on the show to tell her boyfriend to pay her more attention and to stop going out with his friends and pay for a new cooker. However, Jeremy - as he always does - coaxed out that they both did drugs and then the woman got so fed up with her boyfriend being such a loser that she said "right that's it" and decided it was over between them. And even though 2 minutes before her boyfriend had said he wanted to marry her, he didn't even plead for her to come back. He looked up and said "Fine...but don't go to the police about me, yeah?"

Dear God, you're on national television man! You're hardly being inconspicuous!

His poor girlfriend. I was glad she dumped him; I even wooped, like I was practicing for Oprah. On the way out I saw the woman in the corridor walking with who was supposed to be her ex though, so it looked like she'd taken him back.

The whole audience passed her in that corridor. She must have got some looks and tuts from the old ladies.

After the disasterous couple, there was then an alcoholic mother who Jeremy kept trying to make look at him. He persuaded her to never drink again for the sake of her kids, but as soon as she came off stage she asked for a drink. And finally, there was a spoilt boy who was a bit boring because he was just spoilt. His mum seemed nice though, in her spangly top.

After the show we went into Manchester and saw Steve from Coronation Street in his car, which as you might guess was much fun (thought strangely not as fun as seeing Emily from Emmerdale in Sainsbury's). And I practised self-control and a little bit of self-torture by going into the huge Primark and not buying a thing. However I did almost make the mistake of congratulating myself on not buying anything with a �2.50 frappucino from Costa del Sandwich (actually called Costa Coffee), which cost the same amount as the top I denied myself. Now I weigh every price up the Primark way, thinking "now how many tops could I buy for the price of that?".

It's somewhat insufferable to those around me, as you may imagine.

6:07 p.m. - 2006-05-11

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

stepfordtart
joistmonkey
grindangel
cera-jeanne
lifeineminor
persaud-land
wyndspirit
shot-of-tea
shinynewtoy
danielfox118
toiletwater
student-bum
randomrabbit
uber-shaker
theswordsman
flufflebunny
avanery
strawberrri
biggrin
anibananie
clairecav
the-moo
borntotryem
kate-lee
sarahchiv
sexylou
onesweetyear
mragreeable
scooby-gang
zanks
silly-moose
shylozzaah
shell2002
carpediemgem
boy1daful
mrh4ppy
lilkate
onlyinpink
joethebrave
blujeans-uk
buffylass
mindoverflow